First-time moms are often anxious of what they don’t know, while second-time moms are afraid of what they do: sleepless nights and crying spells. But you can’t compare the experiences. In fact, it’s the first-time experiences that make the second time around so different and better for most moms. Equipped with knowledge, and the wisdom that comes from having more friends with kids, moms are able to hit round two of parenthood with more confidence, ease, and joy. Here’s what helps make the second time easier. While I was going through an old box, my daughter. Shane, came across the stuffed bear I’d had when I was her age, a deeply loved creature named Teddy. Then she began asking how come my stuffed bear has no fur and has no eyes at all! I explained that my pet dog had chewed up Teddy when I was a kid. She was shocked. Gravely, she kissed Teddy’s empty eye sockets. Somberly. she reported to her elder brother, Rev, what had happened. Then I saw them fixing that old stuffed bear.
As it turn out, children have an inborn capacity for compassion. Small in stature, they naturally identify themselves with stuffed animals, other kids, pets, and underdogs. The tricky part is that their empathy must compete with other developmental forces, including limited impulse control which makes them pull the cat’s tail — and their belief that their needs absolutely must come first which makes it hard for them to let their cousin push the cool fire truck. But with so much hatred and turmoil in the world today, it seems more important than ever to raise kids who can understand and be kind to other people. Teaching this doesn’t mean lectures or visits to soup kitchens. It’s part of day-to-day life: how you answer your child’s questions, how you solve conflict at the park. how you nudge his or her growing capacity to understand and think about other people. Temperament. of course. plays a role some kids are naturally more tuned in to other people’s feelings and difficulties. while others are a bit oblivious. Either way, you have influence in fostering your child’s ability to empathize.
